Yes, it’s that time again. I’m back with some more amateur dating vice which I’m dishing out in celebration of the recent release of my new book Meet Me in Milan, a story about my ongoing quest to find love, this time in the land of la dolce vita. It’s available everywhere. Even at the airport.
In my last video, I talked about Finding Your Perfect Dating App. This time we are talking about Finding Your Perfect Match onthat dating app. And in doing so, we are moving one step closer to finding your perfect match. You’re welcome.
Now, it’s important to remember that just because you’ve matched with someone online doesn’t make them a match in life. A match is just a stranger you like the look of and who you’ve invited into your world despite knowing nothing about them, other than the few words they’ve written on the profile (that’s if they’ve written anything at all!)
The first thing you want to do with your matches is put them through a rigorous screening process. That’s because we should not trust the criteria we based our initial choices on. Our egos are far too fragile, weak and invested into getting matches to be adequately discerning. We need to go back and scan, screen and possibly delete.
But no need to fret. I’m here to help.
Firstly, you want to delete any profile that contains only photographs. Even a profile without words tells you a lot about that person. Either they haven’t graduated kindergarten or they’re just plain lazy. And someone who finger-paints for a living or is a lazy lover is notwhat we’re looking for! This profile is an immediate delete.
The other profiles to watch out for are ones that use phrases like ‘Looking for my partner-in-crime.’ Unless they are genuinely looking for someone to assist in their criminal activities and you’re looking for a career change, these profiles should be avoided all costs. That’s because anyone using these kinds of clichés would have been better off not using any words, in which case the previous rule applies and it’s an immediate delete!
Okay, so you’ve screened your matches and you’re ready to enter the next stage of the dating process: the texting stage. Don’t be fooled by the supposed simplicity of this stage. The texting stage is fraught with traps, the most common being the never-ending text.
The never-ending text is as it sounds: a text that never ends. Sure, a bit of texting is crucial to establish whether or not they have good chats (because if they ain’t got the good chats, it ain’t a match!) but unless you’re looking for a partner for your thumbs, you want to try and move through this stage as quickly as possible. Once you’ve established they can string a sentence together and perhaps even crack a joke, it’s time to make a date to meet.
Keep in mind your most precious commodity is your time. Every minute is moving you closer to your death. I’m being dramatic here to make a point. And my point is: Are you willing to invest those precious minutes into some stranger you’ve shared a few texts with?
If you’re not sure, then set up a time to chat on the phone. Perhaps the sound of their voice will give you the information you need to decide whether to move forward or send them back into the dating ether.
If you are ready to meet them in person, then good for you. You’re one step closer to finding love but still far enough away from it to keep this first date relatively short. Unless of course you’re having a great time and picturing the faces of the babies you’re going to have together, then by all means call in sick to work and have a good time.
But that’s a discussion for next time when I tackle the topic of the fickle first date (Try saying that 10 times quickly.)
Remember to check out my new book Meet Me in Milan, available online or at your local bookstore. And if it’s not available at your local bookstore then ask the sales assistant to order it in and it will be!
Until next time, keep loving and keep believing in love.